This bike ride is not turning out to be the soul fulfilling adventure I had hoped it would be. I've turned around a few days ago and I'm heading for home. Maybe I should say the homeland since I don't actually have a home anymore. Or maybe I should say, I'm heading back to my car. Ha ha.. When I get back, it'll be over 1,000 miles on the bike. That's a pretty good ride.
It's not like I thought riding 4,700 miles would be physically easy. I still enjoy the idea of testing myself in that way. Honestly that is the only reason I have left to keep going from the original vision of this trip but it's not enough for it to be worth it. If I had a big ego and wanted to brag about my riding achievement every chance I got.. Or I cared what the nah sayers thought of me..Then yea, nothing would stop me. Between not having my travel guitar and actually fearing for my life cycling on these roads, is not worth it. This dream ride was for me and only me so why fight it.
I thought by handing off my guitar I would focus on enjoying the ride. I love to ride. It makes me happy and i love zoning out and forgetting my problems. Turns out riding on the roads with people coming within inches of me at 70mph, calling me names, throwing trash at me, trying to shove me off my bike and telling their dog “get-em boy!”.. is not that enjoyable and only causes a while new set of problems. I've felt with the stress of free camping and riding 100+ miles with all my stuff before on my last tour but that was 70% trails and i liked it. Never mind all the bad cold rainy weather, holes in my tent and problems with my bike. I've endured and repaired and that feels pretty good looking back and I'm sure there is more to come on ride home. So if I can't write music and I'm not enjoying the ride, why bother.
Turning and heading for home couple days ago I still have my dream tapping me on the shoulder and saying “Hey, where are you going? It's this way.” So it's been a really hard decision. I talked it out with a number of people including friends, family and even strangers in coffee shops.
I have some pretty interesting stories to share but I'm putting in 100+ days against the wind so.. I'm a little too tired to write a proper witty and entertaining story.
;)
Will write again soon and share my plan B with ya all.
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